Okay, so I kinda don't know about this... I don't hate humans. I just feel like people are strangely unhateful? Like, I do not know how to explain this but I feel like some people just can't hate as effectively as I can. Like, I just bluntly think every group is fucking annoying. Useless even. I hat most all of them. Or at the very least, have a low level of distain towards the grand majority of humanity. I don't think that any human deserves anyhting bad that happens to them, but I really feel like I can't feel all that much empathy towards humans by in large.
Okay, so I don't hate humans, I just don't get the concept of empathy all that much. Like, I understand the concept, 'human together strong' and therefore 'human hurt bad'. But. A rather big but here, I don't think I can care about people I don't know? Like I feel sorry for them in more of a 'ah, I too hate injustice, fellow homosapian' instead of a 'oh, I feel your pain' kinda way.
I am not sure if I do have much empathy around people I do know? Not that I don't feel bad for them if their panicking or something, but more like I just default to problem solving to get the sod to stop bleeding on the floor or to stop crying. So, like... I hate people being distressed but I don't get the concept outside of 'oh, hearing someone scream out in pain is scary to me because whatever is hurting them can hurt me'? I don't know if I am explaining this in a reasonable manner or what, but I think I am getting the point across.
I don't know, I guess it's just confusing. The way people explain empathy or sympathy, is that the concept of someone being hurt in front of you causing you to experance pain but I don't really get that. Like, I just feel like it's somewhat unlikely that feeling anothers pain is an accurate explaination?
I suppose my point, is that I don't know how empathy is supposed to feel so I have like no idea if I experence much of it. If that makes sense? Like I don't remember feeling much other than a sort of problem solving panic. IDk man, I'm just rambling and having a mild mental deconstruction. 'Cause what is empathy really.
Besides, I did see somewhere that it's only possible to have only about 100 people you can actually care about. So... Like, yeah? I guess that explains why some people might have a harder time being empathic to large scale ideals, crimes or so on.
Granted, I did watch/read/listen to a shit-ton of true crime and may have just spread through my entire ability to give a shit. Like, look, I don't like people getting hurt, regardless of the person, but I do think I just got apathetic? Like, 'oh, poor fuck. Anywhoo' kinda idea. Eh, I don't know man... Just like... Me ranting and stupid complaints so, uh... H-have aa great day.