So, fuck school, am I right? Like I get the fun bits of school. Y;know, the interesting assingments, the fun subjects but the rest of it can down a bottle of bleach for all I care. Like I'm a fucking idiot. I know that, but by god I just want to be done with this shit now. I want a break. Just a little one. I just feel tired, and burnt out, and guility to take an hour out of a weekday to play any video games, or code, or draw or do anything but chat to bots on character.ai or something stupid. I don't know, man. This shit sucks ass. Not to mention, it just feels like my parents only care about my school work. Like, "hey, Fenrir, how's the PAT coming along" or "how's the studies doing." I don't fucking know, I've been avoiding it so I don't have to think about how badly I'm going to fail, thanks.
It's just annoying that the only bloody thing I can do is stupid studying and assingments sometimes. LIke fuck man, I wanna watch a movie, or go for a bike ride, but noOoOo I've got a god damn Afrikaans paper to do, and then a lecture to listen to afterwards on how I've not attened all of my god damned classes, because I don't know, I had to help clean up the FUCKING house. Remember that? No, you conviently fucking don't! 'Cuase it's fine to force Fenrir to go with for a shopping trip, or clean the house, or help out, but I've still gotta do all the extra shit as well. Honestly, at this point as long as I pass. Even if it's by the skin of my teeth, I just want this shit over with. It's like trying to rip out my damned teeth with a pair of faulty pliers.
And don't even get me started on the bullshit going on otherwise. Like,"hey, Fenrir, why don't you just suck it up, you little bitch and get the work done." It just feels like everything will be used against you but that's only a one way street. Just a case of rules for thee but not for me and I'm getting sick of it. I don't know what to do. It just feels like a pointless thing to try to hope for thinks to work out in the end. 'Cause shit gets better for a week or month and then it spirls again like some low budget Uzimaki. And god forbid you try to bring up how my parents fucked up, 'cause god damn it than they pull the whole 'Oh, but I was doing my best." or the full fledged "oh, woe is me for I am a horrible person." bullshit. Did I fucking say that? Or did I say that I'm not fond of dealing with your annoying alcholic bullshit or your need to critic everything I do.
I don't fucking know, man. My damn head hurts, my wrist hurts, my fucking neck hurts. I wanna play with my cats. I wanna work on my website. I wanna get a fucking bike of my own and go for a ride around the block. I just feel down with all of this shit. I don't have any hope that it would fix itself, or that it would change. I just feel burntout and I don't know what to do about it. Just rant about it, I guess. It might be mildly entertaining for someone, I hope. Just mad fuck going by the name Fenrir shouts at cloud, type bullshit.